For anyone who has never been in the position of a stay at home mom or stay at home dad, let me tell you that if you’re not careful you can wind up with low self esteem.

It’s not always easy for a stay at home mom to realize that she’s losing her self esteem until it’s too late. Forget that! Here are some ways that a stay at home mom can maintain her self esteem and keep herself motivated to do the very important jobs of raising a family and running a household.

Realize The Importance Of Being A Stay At Home Mom

Let me just start out by giving you a few facts about the job of a stay at home mom that you should file away in your brain:

  • Stay at home moms work in excess of 90 hours per week
  • If actually earning a salary the average stay at home mom’s salary would be well over $120,000.00 per year
  • The average stay at home mom holds the following positions: housekeeper, daycare teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, facilities manager, janitor, van driver, psychologist, chief executive officer, and nurse.

There is a really great application over at salary.com called Mom’s Salary Wizard which allows a stay at home mom (or her family) figure out exactly what her salary would be for all of the hours she puts in per year.

The Mom’s Salary Wizard allows you to choose your area of the country, personalize your exact job duties and it also allows you to create a “paycheck” that is made out to the stay at home mom. It’s fun to do for yourself and it’s a great way for a family to show their stay at home mom that they appreciate what she does.

Once you really take a look at everything at stay at home mom does and what it would be worth in the real job market, you should never again in your life be ashamed or embarrassed to tell someone that you are a stay at home mom. It’s one of the most important roles a person can take on.

Stay At Home Mom’s Need To Keep Themselves Looking Presentable

I bring up this point from experience. As someone that made the transition from being a 40+ hour a week working mother who had to look presentable and business casual every Monday through Friday to a stay at home mother who wasn’t guaranteed to leave the house every day…my appearance took a nose dive.

I got into a stay at home mom rut. If I wasn’t going outside the house…why bother changing out of my PJ’s? I’ll tell you why. Getting dressed in the morning really sets the tone for the entire day.

If you are putting around in pajama bottoms and a T-shirt all day you can’t expect to feel like you’re on your A-game. Slowly but surely your choice of bed attire during the day will have a negative impact on your self esteem without you even realizing it. You should not work in your pajamas.

Here are some stay at home mom rules to live by:

  • Make your bed every morning
  • Relax in your jammies while enjoying your breakfast (eat breakfast everyday!)
  • Immediately after breakfast, head into the bathroom to get ready for the day
  • Do whatever you need to do as far as cleaning your body
  • Get dressed, including your shoes (you can’t believe the difference having shoes on makes on your attitude…you’re ready for anything when you have your shoes on)
  • Style your hair. Whatever that means to you. Make your hair look good enough so that if you had to go out and sit in a restaurant or something you wouldn’t be self conscious about it
  • Put on a little makeup. I know, it sounds like a housewife from the 50’s or something telling you to put on a little lipstick when you’re feeling blue. But seriously…if you would wear makeup to leave the house, you should be wearing makeup daily in your home. You don’t have to apply it like you’re headed out for a Saturday night date or anything. Just a little dab ‘ll do ya.

Believe me, I understand that a stay at home mom’s life can be hectic and she can’t always take all the time that she would like to work on her appearance. That is fine. Most days I don’t take a shower until night time when my husband is home. In the morning I just “freshen up” and then get ready for the day. We’re talking 15 minutes here.

You will almost immediately experience a positive effect from taking the time each morning to get ready for the day. You self esteem will improve because you don’t look like a pile of mess walking around the house and you’ll just feel more confident overall.

Stay At Home Moms Need To Be Their Own Motivators

Out of the three areas of possible self esteem lowering scenarios that a stay at home mom needs to overcome, motivation is by far the most difficult to deal with.

Remember the days when you worked for a company that not only had specific job requirements that they expected you to adhere to, but they also continually gave you feedback on how poorly or how well you performed those job requirements.

On top of that verbal or written feedback, you also got some called a raise in pay from time to time that worked pretty good as a motivational tool for yourself.

Now? Bubkis. Stay at home moms will eventually learn that they need to create their own motivation or else they are surely to sink. There is nothing worse in life than to wake up in the morning realizing that you have no motivation to perform any of the tasks that you should be performing for the day.

Different people use different things as motivational tools so there is no way for me to tell a stay at home mom exactly what she needs to be doing to motivate herself. You have to figure that out on your own.

What I can do is offer up some suggestions:

  • Try making a detailed list each day of what needs to be accomplished. It sounds so basic but some people are really motivated by being able to see on paper what they have accomplished and be able to check off their accomplishments for the day.
  • Create an informational newsletter for your household. I know, this sounds crazy. Hear me out. I live in a household where there are a lot of adults. It’s pretty hard with everyone’s different work schedules to all be on the same page. I have created a monthly newsletter that goes out which talks about special household projects I am starting, what these people can do to help out, and what I have planned for the upcoming month. This newsletter gives me a sense of accountability and structure that without, I drown. My family gets a kick out of my writing, I get to hold myself accountable by actually putting a plan in place that is known to other people so that if I don’t perform the duties…people will know, and it gives me time each month to think about our household processes and what improvements need to be made.
  • Treat yourself for good work. We talked about the lack of job feedback and raises and the negative impact that can have on your motivation. Implement your own reward system. For me, I choose one day a week to do something really relaxing during my lunchtime. Maybe it’s watching a recorded show that I love, or looking around on the web at things I’m interested in (non stay at home mom related). Something that makes you feel good and that you are going to look forward to.

So there you have it. If you stay on top of the three key areas that effect a stay at home mom’s self esteem you will reap the benefits. If you have any other ideas on how a stay at home mom can maintain their self esteem please feel free to comment.